We all know that the world is getting smaller, but since when is London only 800 miles from Boston. Thinking an error was made, he contacted the airline. The result?  He got what he was entitled to under their rules:

*MOUSE PRINT:

[ Details on the BA website. ]

One-quarter of one mile for every full mile flown? Whoever heard of any airline giving you less than one frequent flier mile for each actual mile flown?

The lesson — don’t assume  that all airline programs work as you expect.

Not to be outdone, Travelocity has just introduced “Travelocity PriceGuardian” which applies to airfare and hotel packages, not just to airfare as the Orbitz plan originally did. [Since Travelocity added air/hotel packages, Orbitz added hotels to its guarantee.] The Travelocity plan promises to refund the difference if another Travelocity customer books the same package at a lower price.

On the face of it, you might say what a good idea. But stop and think about it (and read the terms and conditions).

*MOUSE PRINT:

If another Travelocity.com customer books the same Flight+Hotel Vacation Package that you booked, meaning their Vacation Package contains the same flight and hotel combination (the same dates/times of travel, on the same airline/s, with the same flight numbers, for the same passenger type, itinerary, cabin, and subject to the same fare refundability, or other restrictions, and the same hotel and room type), and the price they pay is at least $10 lower than the price you booked, then Travelocity will refund the difference to you, up to a maximum of $500 per package.

What are the odds that ANYONE will book the exact same flights as you in both directions (same dates, same class) using Travelocity, and stay at the exact same hotel as you in the same priced room for the same number of nights? Slim and none.

Of course, the benefit is free, and should someone else meet these requirements and pay less (but not by using a coupon or other special offer), then you will automatically get a refund to your credit card.

The quick read indicates you will get “up to 25,000 miles”, which is divided into seemingly two miles deposits: 20,000 up front and 5,000 more if you add more cardmembers.

*Mouse Print: The additional 5,000 miles has an unexpected twist found in footnote #2.

2,500 bonus miles will be awarded to your Delta SkyMiles account for each approved Additional Card submitted with this application, up to a maximum of 5,000 bonus miles.

One might reasonably have assumed that adding a single additional cardmember to your account would have triggered the extra 5,000 miles bonus.

On the same day that my mother received this offer, I also received an email entitled, “Your Amazing Offer has Arrived.” Here is what mine said:

So, I must be twice as amazing as my mother since I was being offered 40,000 miles instead of 20,000 (as she has no one to give another card to).

This is a terrible slight on my mother, who is a saint. In fact, she has been dead for three and half years.

Here is an offer from BJ’s Wholesale Club for a four-night cruise for an amazing $149 — just $37 a night.

Besides that, they are promising getting up to $500 of credit to spend on the ship and even, possibly, a BJ’s gift card of up to $200.  Sounds like they are going to pay you to take this trip.

When you begin to get the details of the trip, the promises change.

*MOUSE PRINT:

In one place, it indicates that the onboard spending is only “up to $100″ and in another place the onboard spending is a $200 coupon booklet.  Neither of those is the up to $500 promised.  Worse, when you click the “see details” link, more bad news is delivered.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Looks like we do not qualify for any shipboard credit on two counts: (1) it only applies on trips of six days or longer; and (2) the advertised $37 rate is for an inside cabin, and only outside cabins qualify.

As one clicks further, hope is restored with this:

And hope is dashed by the fine print footnote:

*MOUSE PRINT:

Carnival onboard savings booklet offer is valid only for new individual bookings made between 3/3/09 and 4/1/09 for oceanview staterooms on all sailings of 5 nights or longer, departing after 5/1/09.

Finally, what about that BJ’s $200 gift card that was advertised?  Well, we lose on that score too because we don’t meet the minimum purchase requirement.

*MOUSE PRINT:

On checking with a reservation specialist at BJ’s Travel, one further learns that the $149 rate is an interior room with only bunk beds (ouch), and with taxes and fees comes to $201.73.  To upgrade to two lower beds is an additional $30 per person.

When asked whether the email advertisement was deceptive because the advertised price did not include the extras stated, she said that it was not misleading because the advertised rates have certain restrictions and criteria for getting those rates.

But there is good news, we do qualify for a reduced deposit. Thanks for nothing.

Here is part of an advertisement for Alitalia (and hats off to them for being possibly the only airline to advertise complete fares with all taxes and airport fees included).  Note the dramatic jump in prices:

Summer rates are nearly $500 higher than spring airfares. What is the magical date when fares turn from rockbottom to ridiculous? The valuable answer is buried in the mouse print:

*MOUSE PRINT:

May 25 this year for some airlines is the last day to fly before higher summer rates begin, particularly for international flights.

On other airlines, for example, fares between NYC and Madrid are nearly $400 more expensive on May 26 than they are on May 25:

Of course, there are dates when the fare comes down again, but generally not to the level they were in the spring.

If you can’t plan your trip to end by May 25, you might be able to still save some money by starting the trip before May 26 and ending it in June.  A friend who was flying Continental from New York to Madrid, and then returning from London could have lowered the price of his June trip from $715 to $490 merely by starting it on May 25 — two weeks earlier than planned.

How much could you save by being flexible in your travel dates? Use Kayak.com’s new fare calendar to see at a glance what the lowest airfare is between point A and point B on any day in any month.