@ Sko Hayes: Thank you! That has made my day. I'm trying so hard not to laugh out loud. Especially this one:
"For a product fabricated from 1,000 Onyx Dragon fetuses, the price is unbelievably reasonable!"

Although the ones that start off sounding serious are pretty good, too (the cables reproduce?) as well as the guy who won a Grammy and hooked up w/ Megan Fox because of them. Insanely overpriced items + the overall level of smarta-- that permeates message boards = 1 great time.