Humor

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Blue Diamond Doesn’t Stick to Its Durability Claims

Blue Diamond waffle platesWhen we buy nonstick cookware, many shoppers want the coating to last as long as possible. So manufacturers try to convince us of how durable their brand is.

In a website ad for Blue Diamond waffle plates for a its griddle, the company can’t seem to get its numbers straight.

First it says its diamond-infused coating delivers five times more strength and lasts 10 times longer.

Blue Diamond 5x-10x

Then it changes the numbers. Ten times longer wasn’t enough, so someone at the company probably suggested let’s say 50 times stronger and six times harder.

Blue Diamond 50x

But then, there’s the old asterisk after those numbers. And the claims change again.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Fine Print

Lasts longer, more strength, more durable, harder… 5x, 10x, 6x, 50x… it almost feels like the company is pulling numbers out of thin air. And that makes their claims at least two times harder to believe.

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Hey Campbell’s, Where’s the Beef?

The Campbell Soup Company was recently sued by a New York consumer who said she was misled by Campbell’s Chunky soup label “Beef with Country Vegetables” which has more vegetables than beef.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Campbell's Chunky Beef & Veg

The ingredients statement above shows that there is more water, carrots and potatoes in the can than beef. In fact, the entire 18.8 ounce can has 15 grams of protein, which is only about two ounces of beef!

One has to wonder if Campbell’s took lessons from The Three Stooges on how to make cheap soup?

By contrast, Progresso beef and vegetable soup, has beef as the primary solid ingredient after broth and water.

The consumer’s lawyer further argues that the product should be labeled “Vegetables and Beef” since vegetables predominate over beef. He may be thinking of label rules that require On-Cor, for example, to call the product below “gravy and turkey” because there is more gravy in it than turkey:
en-cor turkey
I don’t know if those rules apply here. The product in question is beef soup and it probably doesn’t even need to have pieces of beef in it.

I think the chances of this case succeeding are… m’m, m’m not good.

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Fine Print Is Not Just in Print Anymore

We’re celebrating April Fool’s Day a week early with a little bit of consumer humor.

Remember those old Federal Express commercials with actor John Moschitta rapid-talking his spiel?

Well, almost two decades later, he is not alone any longer. This time, however, even faster speed-talking is used to make important disclosures and disclaimers in a radio commercial for a Boston-based financial advisory service.

*MOUSE PRINT:

That was perfectly understandable, right?

We asked the company, Hackmann Wealth Partners, if those disclosures were required by certain regulations and whether they would make future ads more understandable. They did not respond.

Presumably the disclosures said something like what is stated in a footnote on their website:

Investment advisory services offered through Brookstone Wealth Advisors, LLC (BWA), a registered investment advisor. BWA and HWP Inc, DBA Hackmann Wealth Partners, are independent of each other. Insurance products and services are not offered through BWA but are offered and sold through individually licensed and appointed agents.

Radio listeners deserve to be able to hear and understand what these folks glossed over in their commercial.