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Chock Full O’ Nuts Coffee: Now Even Richer*

Chock Full O Nuts coffee can

For a change of pace, this story looks at the lighter side of product marketing and changes.

Chock Full O’ Nuts coffee is certainly a brand name from the past and is now making a come back with a new owner and a big advertising campaign.

Their popular jingle is still probably in the heads of millions of Americans: “Chock Full O’ Nuts is the heavenly coffee, heavenly coffee … better coffee a millionaire’s money can’t buy.”  [Watch the 1974 TV commercial reprising one from the 50s or 60s.]

The new owners still want to convey the superiority of their coffee and even held a contest to find the best new singer for their old jingle. Of course, with so many rich people in America now, a coffee good enough for a mere millionaire isn’t saying much. So, Chock Full O’ Nuts has inconspicuously modified their jingle accordingly [listen carefully to the 2007 version]:

*MOUSE PRINT: 

chock banner

It looks like inflation has even taken its toll on millionaires.

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Skybus: Airfares as Low as $10*

Skybus

In a few weeks, a new low-cost airline called Skybus will start flying from east and west coast cities to Columbus, Ohio.

The big lure will be $10 airfares.

Skybus is trying to pattern itself after some very low cost European carriers like Ryanair. The company says, “We’ve developed a very simple operating model that produces a dramatically lower cost structure to fly people safely and reliably from where they are to where they want to go.”

What are their secrets for cutting costs?

*MOUSE PRINT:

1. They have no phone number! 

“Seriously. We’d love to chat, but those phone banks are expensive.”

2. They charge you for everything (except using the toilet):

– “The first two [checked] bags are 5 bucks apiece.”

– “That also goes for blankets and pillows–which, by the way, you get to keep if you buy.”

– Want a good seat?  “You can pay 10 bucks extra to board our brand-new A319 airplanes before anyone else.”

3. You must buy their food if you want to eat:  

“Hungry? Thirsty? Bring cash. Oh, and don’t sneak food onboard unless you brought enough for the whole plane.”

4. Don’t expect many employees:

 “… to keep our costs low, at most airports our agents serve “double duty”, moving from the check in counter to the gate when it’s time to board a flight. This means that if you arrive at the airport less than 30 minutes from your scheduled flight, there may not be agents available at the ticket counter to assist you.”

5. You won’t find Skybus at some of your favorite airports: They use less crowded, cheaper, and less convenient airports such as Portsmouth, NH (instead of Boston), and Bellingham (instead of Seattle).

6. Got a complaint?

“We can’t guarantee a personal response to your message…”

7. Fares “from” $10:

They may only have as few as 10 seats at that low price.

Despite these quirks and unexpected “features”, Skybus may revolutionize low-cost air travel in the US, and put pressure on other airlines to lower fares.

 

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Clay Car Dealerships: We Hide Nothing*

Clay video

Finally, there is a car dealer that doesn’t play games. In its brilliant and funny video, Clay says that other car dealers have found “seven ways to bend you over and [stick it to you], but at Clay family dealerships we take a different approach.” 

The ad goes on to say “there are a lot of names for what goes on in a dealer’s showroom — hosed, cheated, scammed…” But, at Clay “we’ll show you each of the seven hidden ways car dealers take you,” “we’ll explain tricks like the bait and switch,” and “this is how cars should be sold — honestly, proudly, nakedly.” 

With the bad reputation that so many car dealers have gotten over the years, no wonder this dealer wants to try to set itself apart from the crowd. And, it is refreshing to hear that a car dealer really wants to be honest and open.

Now back to reality. Here is an ad from one of the Clay dealerships that appeared in the Boston Globe on April 28, 2007:

Clay ad small

*MOUSE PRINT: While the ad says that one can “buy for $22,702,” this Nissan, the smaller print above indicates that this artificially low bargain price was only arrived at by subtracting the buyer’s down payment of over $3000.

A down payment, whether in cash or trade, is never a discount off the price, but rather it is a means of partial payment of the total selling price. In this case, the real selling price is almost $26,000 (or maybe more), not the $22,702 represented as the “buy for” price.

To be fair to Clay, most car dealers in the Boston area play this same game of advertising a manipulated low price. That doesn’t make it right, but does make it common (unfortunately).

That said, if you are going to advertise the despicable nature of the dirty tricks played by other car dealers, why engage in one yourself? 

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