With much fanfare, Chrysler recently announced that it was the first automaker to offer a lifetime powertrain warranty on most of its vehicles starting July 27th.

Our trusty mouse wanted to see the fine print of the warranty, just to make sure they weren’t pulling any fast ones. A visit to the Chrysler website provided virtually no details about the warranty, let alone a copy of it. For that you are directed to your local dealer:

*MOUSE PRINT:

A visit to a local Chrysler dealer proved just as frustrating. They had no copy of the warranty. One salesman said it would be in the owner’s manual when you bought the car. Another salesman pointed to a few lines on a new car price sticker claiming that was the warranty. How cheesy.

Next, our trusty mouse called Chrysler’s customer service department to ask that a copy of the lifetime warranty be sent out. After much checking, the call center operator said that she was “not empowered to do that.”  How about emailing it?  The answer was no to that too. “How do I get a copy?”  “Go to a dealer.”  “The dealer doesn’t have it yet?”  “Go to another dealer.”

A second dealer was contacted, and it had no copies of the warranty either.

Not yet giving up on the customer service department, we emailed an inquiry to them using their webform.

A senior staff representative responded:

Thank you for contacting the Chrysler Customer Assistance Center regarding the Lifetime Limited Powertrain Warranty.

Terms and conditions of the Lifetime Limited Powertrain Warranty should be available through any Chrysler, Dodge, or Jeep dealership to customers purchasing a vehicle with such a warranty. If your dealer is unable to provide this information, you may wish to seek the assistance of another authorized dealer. The information cannot be dispensed electronically.

As a last resort, we contacted the media folks at Chrysler, who were the only ones able to provide a copy of the Chrysler Lifetime Powertrain Warranty. [.pdf]

It is essentially the same as their previous “7/70″ powertrain warranty but without the requirement of having to pay a $100 deductible for each repair. The new lifetime warranty picks up after their regular “3 year/36,000 mile” warranty expires.

*MOUSE PRINT:  The only two restrictions are that the warranty is not transferable if you sell the car, and you must let Chrysler do a free inspection once every five years within 60 days of your anniversary date.

It is a shame that Chrysler is making it difficult for car shoppers to learn the terms of their new warranty before  purchase particularly when they really have nothing to hide.

Finally, there is a car dealer that doesn’t play games. In its brilliant and funny video, Clay says that other car dealers have found “seven ways to bend you over and [stick it to you], but at Clay family dealerships we take a different approach.” 

The ad goes on to say “there are a lot of names for what goes on in a dealer’s showroom — hosed, cheated, scammed…” But, at Clay “we’ll show you each of the seven hidden ways car dealers take you,” “we’ll explain tricks like the bait and switch,” and “this is how cars should be sold — honestly, proudly, nakedly.” 

With the bad reputation that so many car dealers have gotten over the years, no wonder this dealer wants to try to set itself apart from the crowd. And, it is refreshing to hear that a car dealer really wants to be honest and open.

Now back to reality. Here is an ad from one of the Clay dealerships that appeared in the Boston Globe on April 28, 2007:

*MOUSE PRINT: While the ad says that one can “buy for $22,702,” this Nissan, the smaller print above indicates that this artificially low bargain price was only arrived at by subtracting the buyer’s down payment of over $3000.

A down payment, whether in cash or trade, is never a discount off the price, but rather it is a means of partial payment of the total selling price. In this case, the real selling price is almost $26,000 (or maybe more), not the $22,702 represented as the “buy for” price.

To be fair to Clay, most car dealers in the Boston area play this same game of advertising a manipulated low price. That doesn’t make it right, but does make it common (unfortunately).

That said, if you are going to advertise the despicable nature of the dirty tricks played by other car dealers, why engage in one yourself? 

Can you really get a brand new 2007 Mazda worth over $21,000 for less than $10,000? This local car dealer apparently uses the new math to come up with this bargain.

*MOUSE PRINT: The dealer assumes you will make a $9000 down payment either by cash or trade and deducts that from the MSRP to create an artificially low advertised price. [Boston Globe, September 10, 2006]

Here is another example from a different dealer.

Talk about an eye-catching price for a brand new Mazda Tribute. It is just over $10,000 for a $22,000 car. How in the world is that possible?

The answer is, it isn’t possible, unless you play with the numbers.

*MOUSE PRINT: The $10,090 price assumes a cash down payment or trade in worth $5500 to arrive at their artificially low advertised price. [Boston Globe, July 30, 2006 and net ad]

Here is how they work the math:

MSRP: $22,590
Cash or Trade in: -$5500
Discount up to: -$7000
================

Advertised Price: $10,090

These dealers are deliberately treating a form of payment — a cash down payment or a trade in — as a discount from the price. What you put down is never considered a discount from the price.

With their kind of logic, a home builder could advertise a $400,000 house for only $10 (assuming you also agree to give him a $399,990 down payment).

This type of advertising is reprehensible. What do you think?

Imagine spending $25,000 for a new car and then having buyer’s remorse. To give customers more peace of mind, Chrysler has begun offering a 30 day return program. TV commercials promise “if not satisfied, simply return it within 30 days.”

The truth is, it is not quite so painless a process, particularly to your pocketbook.

*MOUSE PRINT: “Customer responsible for 5% MSRP restocking fee, 50 cents per mile driven, and all financing, insurance and tax charges.” [TV commericial airing July 10, 2006.]

One might reasonably expect to have to return the car in good condition (additional fine print requires that), and to have to pay a usage fee for every mile driven. In this case, if one were to drive an average amount of 1,000 miles during the first month, that means there will be a $500 charge for use.

The real bite comes from the restocking fee, which on a $25,000 list price car (even if you paid $20,000), would amount to $1250. It is unclear how much the taxes, financing and insurance charges would add to this, but the total charge to change your mind about buying this car could easily be over $2000.

If you paid cash for the car, or used other than Chrysler Financial to finance it, you don’t have any refund rights under this program.

So, if you “just return it in 30 days,” expect to lose approximately 8 – 10% of the purchase price, or get no refund at all.

Are you sick of seeing Taylor Hicks singing in those Ford commercials yet? The company is using him to entice you to buy their brand by promising  ”we’ll pay for your gas until 2007.”  Sounds like a generous offer. Or is it?

*MOUSE PRINT: “Receive maximum $1,100 debit card for gas. Amount varies by model.” [Commercial airing June 2006]

According to their website, you only receive the maximum $1,100 if you buy an SUV or select truck. You get less (only $1000) if purchasing other vehicles.

With today’s gasoline prices at $3 or higher a gallon, many drivers say they are paying $50, $60, $70 or more weekly to tank up. At that rate, gas for half a year (from now until January) would run $1300 to $1820 — way more than Ford will pay for.

“$0 for gas” may be true for those who purchase fuel efficient vehicles, drive average or less amounts, and spend less than $39 a week for gas. For everyone else, Ford’s $0 for gas promise is running on fumes. MrConsumer says no tanks.