Humor

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Thanks for Nothing – Fall 2025

Every few months we spotlight offers from companies that are real head-scratchers, are actually less generous than they appear, are just plain outrageous, or may simply elicit a chuckle. Here’s the latest crop.

T-Mobile Free iPhone 17 Offer

Those of us of a certain age remember the FEDEX commercials where John Moshitta rapid-talked his way to stardom. It seems that T-Mobile found their own new rapid-talker to disclose all the catches involved in their offer for a free iPhone Pro 17.

Listen to the last 17 seconds of this commercial — mostly unintelligible for the average person.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Thanks for nothing, T-Mobile.

High Beef Prices

MrConsumer did a double-take a few weeks ago when he saw this $38 price tag on a three-pound chuck steak at his local supermarket.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Chuck Steak $11.99 /lb

When I was a kid, chuck steak was 39-cents a pound on sale! Now it’s $11.99. High demand and shrinking supplies they say is to blame. With prices like that for the cheapest type of steak, demand is sure to fall.

But perhaps we should be thankful for the relative bargain that chuck steak is compared to three pounds of Wagyu steak at Costco at ten times the price:

Wagyu steak

Thanks for nothing, Stop & Shop, Costco, and all the other grocery stories charging outrageous prices for beef.

Home Depot Free Tool Offer

An email from Home Depot made a tempting offer right in the subject line promising a free Milwaukee expansion tool (whatever that is). When you open the email, the recipient is probably surprised to learn there is a $3,000 minimum purchase necessary!

*MOUSE PRINT:

Free tool

Thanks to David B. for this submission, but thanks for nothing, Home Depot.

Gizmodo Charger Offer

On Gizmodo’s deal page recently they promoted a three-port phone charger as “almost free.”

Almost free charger

However, when you scroll down, you learn the charger isn’t anywhere near “almost free.”

*MOUSE PRINT:

Not almost free

Thanks for nothing, Gizmodo.

Walmart Mayonnaise Price Rollback

Everyone knows when you see a rollback sign at Walmart, that signals a price drop.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Walmart rollback

This must be the new math. Thanks for nothing, Walmart.

Groupon Deal at AMC Theatres

It looked like quite a deal at AMC to get a movie ticket and a snack for only $5.03 with a Groupon discount.

Groupon AMC deal

*MOUSE PRINT:

It turns out that only the drink was $5.03. The movie was an additional $12.

Groupon discounted drink

Groupon discounted movie ticket

Thanks for nothing, Groupon.

If you find an offer suitable to be called out here, please send a copy of it to Edgar(at symbol)MousePrint.org . Thanks.

Updated every Monday!   Subscribe to free weekly newsletter.

Sometimes Good News Is Buried in the Fine Print

Last year, a UK-based nonprofit tax policy organization decided to protest a legal requirement that it had to have a posted privacy policy. Its director, Dan Neidle, wanted to make the point that no one reads these things so what was the point of even having one.

So, he launched his personal protest in February 2024 by inserting an offer of a free bottle of wine into his privacy policy:

*MOUSE PRINT:

Privacy policy - free wine

It took three months before anyone noticed the free wine offer and claimed it.

After the wine was claimed, Neidle commented, “Every tiny coffee shop has to have a privacy policy on their website, it’s crazy. It’s money that’s being wasted.”

Updated every Monday!   Subscribe to free weekly newsletter.

Thanks for Nothing – Spring 2025

A few times a year we spotlight offers from companies that are real head-scratchers, are actually less generous than they appear, are just plain outrageous, or may simply elicit a chuckle. Here’s the latest crop.

Clickbait Headlines

I find it very annoying when respected publishers resort to clickbait headlines that create an air of mystery surrounding the subject matter of their stories. For example, a few weeks ago, any number of publications used headlines like this to attract eyeballs.

Clickbait

*MOUSE PRINT:

They make it sound like there was some type of problem at the store that caused it to close — perhaps some toxic substance had to be cleaned up or they had to fumigate the stores for some pest problem. In reality, it was a simply a story saying that Costco or other retailers were going to be closed in observance of Memorial Day. To all those publications that did this… thanks for nothing.

5th Birthday Candle Holder

Leave it to Walmart to sell an ornament that you put on top of a cake to celebrate a child’s fifth birthday… but the product has a problem, according to Debra D. who submitted this.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Happy 5th birthday

The package contains only four candles! Thanks for nothing, Walmart.

Cheez-It Pantry Size

Meredith B. sent us this picture of two boxes of Cheez-It crackers. They are both the same size — 12.4 ounces — but the one on the left claims it is 75% more.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Cheez-It

It is 75% more than their small seven-ounce size. But it is not some type of bonus package where you are getting a whole bunch of extra crackers free. Thanks for the math lesson, Sunshine.

Arm & Hammer Power Sheets

Who knew that laundry detergent now comes in sheets? Apparently Arm & Hammer makes this product that claims you get 100 loads out of each box… but the box only contains 50 sheets. Is this the new math?

*MOUSE PRINT:

Arm & Hammer sheets

Apparently, the way you get 100 loads is if you cut each sheet in half! Thanks for nothing, Arm & Hammer.

2 TB Thumb Drives

Like a number of retailers, Walmart, Amazon, and AliExpress allow third-party sellers to advertise on their websites. In this case, all of them are promoting USB flash drives with a stated capacity of two terabytes for as low as a dollar. For the uninitiated, most thumb drives have capacities measured in gigabytes, not terabytes. (One thousand gigs = 1 TB.)

*MOUSE PRINT:

2 tb thumbdrives

The two-terabyte flash drives above are as low as 99 cents — which is a complete impossibility. A genuine one-terabyte thumb drive from a national brand goes for around $100. And two-terabyte versions are virtually non-existent. Thanks for nothing, Walmart, Amazon, and AliExpress for not vetting your third party sellers and products better.

If you want to see what one consumer received when he ordered a 20-Tb external drive for $51, check out this story from Ars Technica.

If you spot an ad with a far-fetched or funny claim, send it along to us. Thanks!