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Thanks for Nothing – Spring 2025

A few times a year we spotlight offers from companies that are real head-scratchers, are actually less generous than they appear, are just plain outrageous, or may simply elicit a chuckle. Here’s the latest crop.

Clickbait Headlines

I find it very annoying when respected publishers resort to clickbait headlines that create an air of mystery surrounding the subject matter of their stories. For example, a few weeks ago, any number of publications used headlines like this to attract eyeballs.

Clickbait

*MOUSE PRINT:

They make it sound like there was some type of problem at the store that caused it to close — perhaps some toxic substance had to be cleaned up or they had to fumigate the stores for some pest problem. In reality, it was a simply a story saying that Costco or other retailers were going to be closed in observance of Memorial Day. To all those publications that did this… thanks for nothing.


5th Birthday Candle Holder

Leave it to Walmart to sell an ornament that you put on top of a cake to celebrate a child’s fifth birthday… but the product has a problem, according to Debra D. who submitted this.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Happy 5th birthday

The package contains only four candles! Thanks for nothing, Walmart.


Cheez-It Pantry Size

Meredith B. sent us this picture of two boxes of Cheez-It crackers. They are both the same size — 12.4 ounces — but the one on the left claims it is 75% more.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Cheez-It

It is 75% more than their small seven-ounce size. But it is not some type of bonus package where you are getting a whole bunch of extra crackers free. Thanks for the math lesson, Sunshine.


Arm & Hammer Power Sheets

Who knew that laundry detergent now comes in sheets? Apparently Arm & Hammer makes this product that claims you get 100 loads out of each box… but the box only contains 50 sheets. Is this the new math?

*MOUSE PRINT:

Arm & Hammer sheets

Apparently, the way you get 100 loads is if you cut each sheet in half! Thanks for nothing, Arm & Hammer.


2 TB Thumb Drives

Like a number of retailers, Walmart, Amazon, and AliExpress allow third-party sellers to advertise on their websites. In this case, all of them are promoting USB flash drives with a stated capacity of two terabytes for as low as a dollar. For the uninitiated, most thumb drives have capacities measured in gigabytes, not terabytes. (One thousand gigs = 1 TB.)

*MOUSE PRINT:

2 tb thumbdrives

The two-terabyte flash drives above are as low as 99 cents — which is a complete impossibility. A genuine one-terabyte thumb drive from a national brand goes for around $100. And two-terabyte versions are virtually non-existent. Thanks for nothing, Walmart, Amazon, and AliExpress for not vetting your third party sellers and products better.

If you want to see what one consumer received when he ordered a 20-Tb external drive for $51, check out this story from Ars Technica.


If you spot an ad with a far-fetched or funny claim, send it along to us. Thanks!

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5 thoughts on “Thanks for Nothing – Spring 2025”

  1. The holiday one was really aggravating me earlier this year because all over news pages they were posting it about every company and it was literally just about Easter. “Target to join Walmart and other major retailers to close all stores on April XX!” and etc. I was really really getting tired of reading it.

    In the candle packages defense, at least it is very clearly marked in large typeface that it only contains four candles. At first I thought the number was the fifth candle, but now I read that the #5 is a candle holder, so perhaps you’re intended to pick one of the accompanying candles to put in it? Or perhaps the manufacturer figured they could cut candle costs by 20%.

    The bogus USBs are indicative of the greater problem you’ve expressed and with the unending deluge of bot reviews it is almost impossible to keep track of actually good products. I often find myself just going with the official pages of known good brands. It’s crazy that Ebay and Amazon have basically reversed themselves and I’m more confident when I buy on Ebay than Amazon because at least Ebay the seller ratings are somewhat trustworthy.

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  2. I think the fifth birthday “ornament” is properly represented. The “5” is a candle holder and has a spot for a candle. Instead of five candles on the cake, you have a 5 with a single candle on top of it. And you can reuse the “5” three more times with the additional candles. Paying attention to what one reads at Walmart’s website would have clarified this for Debra D.

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  3. Yes that story about all stores closing on the same day. Those are commonly seen on the Newsbreak app i use. I have learned not to even click on them. Pure clickbait.

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