Thanks for Nothing

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Thanks for Nothing #5

In honor of April Fools’ Day a few days ago, we first offer you an ad to make you chuckle, and then two ads in our series of ones that don’t quite offer what they claim (but which throw in a chuckle at no extra cost).

Example 1:

Retailers are notorious for advertising that “everything” is on sale when there are many exclusions. Old Navy tried to play it straight(er) by advertising a big sale this way:

Old Navy "everything-ish"

Thanks for trying, Old Navy.

Example 2:

Southwest Airlines recently offered an airfare sale with “no gotchas.”

Souhtwest Airlines

Then what’s this?

*MOUSE PRINT:

Southwest terms and conditions

Thanks for nothing, Southwest. But thanks to Richard G. for the submission.

Example 3:

Our last “deal” is at Ace Hardware. Just use your loyalty card and pay $3 more than the regular price!

*MOUSE PRINT:

Ace Hardware

Thanks for nothing, Ace.

If you find an ad that screams “thanks for nothing,” please pass it on to Edgar(at symbol)MousePrint.org . Thanks.

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Thanks for Nothing: United Airlines Intros “Last Class” Service

United AirlinesWe all know what first class air travel means — priority boarding, bigger seats, fancy food, quick exiting, etc. Now United Airlines is introducing what we have nicknamed “last class” service. As our moniker implies, this is at the opposite end of the spectrum of fares.

According to United’s website, “basic economy” as they call it will be their least expensive fare (with unspecified extra savings, if any), but will come with some new and severe limitations:

*MOUSE PRINT:

  • You will not be able to reserve a particular seat.

  • Seats will be assigned automatically at check-in, and presumably you will have no choices offered.

  • If you buy multiple seats for your family, sitting together is not guaranteed.

  • You can make no voluntary changes to your ticket.

  • You will earn miles, but not earn “segments.”

  • You will not be allowed to upgrade.

  • You will be automatically placed in the last group to board the plane.

    And the biggest (and nastiest) new restriction:

  • You cannot carry on any luggage except a small personal item like a laptop that fits under the seat in front of you.

    • So… during this Thanksgiving week, we say to United Airlines, thanks for nothing.

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    Thanks for Nothing #4

    We continue our series of offers, which upon closer scrutiny, offer less than expected.

    Example 1:

    Supermarkets have become fond of advertising 10 for $10 deals. But this deal from a New York supermarket chain falls a little short.

    10 for $10

    *MOUSE PRINT:

    The bulbs are indeed 10 for $10, but you can only buy four it seems. Thanks for nothing, Shop Rite.

    Example 2:

    Speaking of buying larger quantities, we’ve always been taught that when you buy in bulk, you can often save money.

    Kidde

    *MOUSE PRINT:

    At Amazon, you can buy a two pack of detectors for the price of three single ones. That’s right, one is $15 and two are $47. Whatta deal. Thanks for nothing, Amazon.

    Example 3:

    Speaking of deals, Best Buy is seemingly offering an LG stainless steel dishwasher for an unheard of $199 in this ad:

    Best Buy

    *MOUSE PRINT:

    The dishwasher is not $199 as it first appears. That’s the price for the microwave. So, how much is the dishwasher? Who knows. Thanks for nothing, Best Buy.

    Example 4:

    A few weeks ago, we got Lowe’s to pull a TV commercial which promised 20% off major appliances, but according to the fine print, virtually every major brand was only a maximum of 10% off (except where noted). Now fast forward to this past Labor Day when Lowe’s upped the phantom discount to as high as 35% off.

    Lowe's

    *MOUSE PRINT:

    The fine print disclaimer in this commercial, just like the other ads, says:

    Whirlpool, Maytag, KitchenAid, Amana, GE, LG, Samsung, Frigidaire, Electrolux, and Bosch brands limited to a maximum 10% discount unless otherwise shown.

    So again, virtually all the major brands are not 35% off. In fact, a review of their website reveals that of the 200 dishwashers offered for sale, only one was 35% or more off the regular price. Thanks for nothing, Lowe’s.

    If you find a good example of a “Thanks for Nothing”-type offer, please pass on a screenshot of the ad to edgar (at symbol) mouseprint.org .