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Where’s the Beef Pork?

It has been years since Clara Peller famously questioned one of Wendy’s fast food competitors in a TV commercial about the skimpy size of their hamburgers.  She shouted “Where’s the beef?” Well, we may have to call Ms. Peller back into action (from the hereafter), but this time the issue is pork.

We don’t usually think of fresh pork, such as pork chops, being sold under a brand name, but in some supermarkets you can actually find some packages with a Swift Premium label.

Swift

While it might seem advantageous to be able to buy a brand name of pork, the fine print suggests otherwise.

*MOUSE PRINT:

“with up to 10% of a solution of water, salt, and sodium phosphate”

Why has the company added up to 10% water to the pork chops besides the fact that selling a package that is 90% pork and 10% water is probably more profitable than selling one that is 100% pork?

The company replied:

“The hogs we use are bred and fed to be much leaner today, and are trimmed so there is very little external fat. We add a little extra moisture to our pork, so that consumers can be assured of the juicy tender and flavorful product.

The supermarket selling it replied:

“The product is enhanced with a solution of water, salt/spices.  This ensures a uniform flavor and moisture level, while providing a consistent eating experience for the consumer.   The practice of selling enhanced product is in accordance with USDA guidelines, and the font of the print is governed by USDA as well.” 

I don’t want to pay $2.99 a pound for water.  For one, if I want water with my pork, I’ll grab a glass and get it from the tap.

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Kmart $5 Off Coupons: The Hidden Strings

KmartWhen visiting either Kmart’s website or if you have a Sears card, you might see a promotion to get two free $5 coupons when you sign up for their email list.

Sounds like a pretty fair deal.

When you actually visit the Kmart site, you are asked to fill out the form with your name and address.

What might escape your view is a fine print disclosure on the bottom:

*MOUSE PRINT:

**Receive a $5 off $50 coupon to use in-store, and a $5 off $50 coupon code to use online. Some exclusions apply. New email addresses only.

Thanks for nothing, Kmart. Coupons like these are available periodically in their circulars and elsewhere. You might have assumed that these were merely $5 off your purchase coupons, rather than tied to a $50 minimum purchase (one online and one off). Funny how the $50 required purchase appeared nowhere in the original promotion of the offer.

Retailers: there is a big difference between offering a “$5 off coupon” and a “$5 off a $50 purchase coupon”. If you mean the latter, say the latter.

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NutriSystem: 3 Weeks of Food Absolutely Free?

No word is more powerful (or misused) in marketing than “free.” So when NutriSystem advertised its new advanced diet program with three weeks of free food, our trusty mouse had to check it out.

nutrisystem1

What is better than free? “Absolutely free.” But the dagger leads to some fine print.

nutrisystem2

*MOUSE PRINT:

“…for this offer you must stay on Auto-Delivery for at least three consecutive 28-day program deliveries… One additional free week of food will be included with your first, second, and third deliveries.”

In other words, you have to buy three months of NutriSystem food in order to receive three additional weeks of “free” food. How much money are you going to have to lay out to get the “absolutely free” food?

*MOUSE PRINT: According to their website, 28-days of food on the auto-delivery plan costs $319.95 for men. Multiply that by three for the required monthly shipments, and the total cost is $959.85.

So, in order to receive three weeks of food “absolutely free”, you have to spend nearly $1000. I am losing my appetite already.

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