Mouse Print* – Page 77 – Exposing the strings and catches buried in the fine print.

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Thanks for Nothing — Fall 2021

November 1, 2021November 1, 2021 by Edgar (aka MrConsumer)

We continue our series of little annoyances about ads and offers that are often real head-scratchers and might make you chuckle.

Example #1 — $10 Off at Amazon

MrConsumer recently received an email from Amazon with a genuinely great-sounding offer that promised $10 off if you tried their delivery service that sends your order to a pick-up location rather than to your home.

The email had a time-stamp of 6:21 p.m. Coincidentally, I was checking email when the offer came in and immediately clicked the “Claim $10 off now” button. The result:

What? Offer over? It arrived in my mailbox less than a minute earlier.

*MOUSE PRINT:

So this was a speed test? I had to click even faster than less than a minute after receipt? Thanks for nothing, Amazon.

Example #2 — Pants Under $5 at Gap

It looked like such a great deal — a pair of Dockers slacks for less than $10 and with a coupon, the price came down to $4.97. Who could resist? The disclosure at the bottom of the ad killed the deal.

*MOUSE PRINT:

What? Order the pants in October but they won’t arrive until February … if you’re lucky? Thanks for nothing, Gap.

Example #3 — Advertorials Fool Google News

When searching Google News for consumer stories one expects to find legitimate consumer news. But, here’s an excerpt from one recent search.

*MOUSE PRINT:

All three of these “stories” appeared at local newspaper sites around the country but are really advertisements for keto and CBD pills masquerading as reviews of these products. They were able to fool Google’s algorithm that presumably tries to distinguish between bona fide news and advertisements. (And if you think Bing is any better, think again.) Thanks for nothing, Google (and Bing).

Example #4 — Proof Apple Products Are Overpriced

Apple products tend to be very expensive whether it is a new iPhone for over $1,000 or one of their new laptops just unveiled last week for about $2,500. Also introduced was this polishing cloth said to be good for cleaning all Apple display screens.

Of course, you should only use genuine Apple accessories with your Apple products. And at “only $19,” imagine the profit that Apple is making on this schmatta (Yiddish for “little piece of cloth or rag”). Thanks for nothing, Apple.

Example #5 — Hanukkah, Passover, It’s All the Same

Speaking of Yiddish, for some people, it is hard to keep all the Jewish holidays straight in their mind. But those folks are the last ones who should design Jewish-themed products or advertise chazarai (Yiddish for “junk”) like this on a national website.

Thanks for nothing, Bed, Bath & Beyond and Designs Direct. But do enjoy Hanukkah in December, and Passover (“why is this night…”) in April.

If you find an example of an offer suitable for our “Thanks for Nothing” series, please email it to edgar (at symbol) MousePrint.org . Thanks.

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Apple’s New OS Predicts Your Impending Death

October 25, 2021October 25, 2021 by Edgar (aka MrConsumer)

The new Mac operating system dubbed “Monterey” debuts this week, but apparently not all its new features will be ready for release until later this fall. And that delay has led to the unfortunate placement of an asterisk in their promotional material.

One improvement being made is an enhancement to Apple ID which will help a family member or loved one access your account in case you suddenly pass away without having left your password behind.

Apple death

That little asterisk at the end, however, has sent a chill through Mac owners’ bones and created a sense of sudden urgency. Down the page, it leads to this surprising disclosure.

*MOUSE PRINT:

What does Apple know that even your doctor doesn’t?

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Do Toner Cartridges Really Deliver the Promised Number of Copies?

October 18, 2021October 18, 2021 by Edgar (aka MrConsumer)

HMC, a regular reader, recently described a problem he had buying generic toner cartridges for his HP printer. For years he spent over $200 for a single Hewlett Packard 26X toner refill worried that using an off-brand would damage his device. Over time and after spending thousands of dollars on HP-branded cartridges, HMC finally came to his senses and decided to cut his toner costs by 90% by buying a generic brand instead.

Just like the name brand, the Aztech cartridges he now purchases promise 9,000 copies at 5% density. But to double-check, HMC always uses a feature of his HP printer that calculates how much toner is left in a cartridge and how much was already used. So, after a recent batch of toner was delivered from Amazon, he put each of the two brand new Aztech cartridges in his printer to test and got a surprising result.

*MOUSE PRINT:

It showed that the cartridges only had enough toner to yield approximately 7,200 prints, not the 9,000 the package and the Amazon listing promised. Whenever he previously tested new, genuine HP cartridges, as well as prior orders of Aztech toner, his printer always reported the full 9,000.

HMC called Amazon, and after some negotiation, he got a full refund for the cartridges and he didn’t even have to return them. He’ll probably try a different generic brand next time around.

The lesson here, dear reader, is if your printer has a counting function to calculate toner capacity, use it every time you install a new cartridge to see if you are at least theoretically getting what you paid for.

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