Humor – Page 7 – Mouse Print*

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Apple’s New OS Predicts Your Impending Death

October 25, 2021October 25, 2021 by Edgar (aka MrConsumer)

The new Mac operating system dubbed “Monterey” debuts this week, but apparently not all its new features will be ready for release until later this fall. And that delay has led to the unfortunate placement of an asterisk in their promotional material.

One improvement being made is an enhancement to Apple ID which will help a family member or loved one access your account in case you suddenly pass away without having left your password behind.

Apple death

That little asterisk at the end, however, has sent a chill through Mac owners’ bones and created a sense of sudden urgency. Down the page, it leads to this surprising disclosure.

*MOUSE PRINT:

What does Apple know that even your doctor doesn’t?

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Mercedes Promotes New Automatic Valet Parking Feature, But…

August 23, 2021 by Edgar (aka MrConsumer)

Mercedes is introducing a new high-end feature to its luxury vehicles called Intelligent Park Pilot. And just as the name suggests, when you engage the system, the car will find its way to the hotel, airport, or restaurant parking garage on its own.

To introduce the new technology, Mercedes created a commercial capturing something we have always wondered about — what do parking valets really do with your car when you hand them the keys?

This commercial shows them joyriding, speeding, and making daring moves all while you are eating a peaceful dinner somewhere and none the wiser.

The clincher in the commercial is the following disclosure about the automatic parking system.

*MOUSE PRINT:

So we’ll just have to wait until roads and garages get smart enough to safely guide cars with automated valet parking to a parking spot, and driving laws allow unattended systems like this.

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Thanks for Nothing — Summer 2021

July 12, 2021July 12, 2021 by Edgar (aka MrConsumer)

A few times a year we take a step back to roll our eyes at some companies’ practices or promotions that are real head-scratchers. Here is this summer’s crop of sellers not doing shoppers any favors in these instances.

Example #1

If this bag of grass originally sold for a thousand dollars, it must have included a lot of weed.

*MOUSE PRINT:

Thanks for nothing Farm & Home Supply.

Example #2

A consumer on Reddit posted a picture of an unusual warning on the box of the HD television set that he just bought. And it was in pretty big type.

*MOUSE PRINT:

What? Your TV warranty is void if you don’t save the box it came in for possible future use if you need to move the TV or send it in for repairs? I suspect most people are not in the habit of reading those boxes to learn about their warranty rights, or save those huge things at home. Thanks for nothing, Sceptre.

Example #3

Cell companies are busy promoting their new 5G cell networks with both largest size and fastest speed claims. Boost Mobile recently advertised that it had the largest 5G network like this:

*MOUSE PRINT:

Nothing like a little pictorial misrepresentation to make you think that their 5G network is possibly larger than it really is. Can’t they try to make the map at least somewhat accurate? Thanks for nothing, Boost.

Example #4

Herb W. of Seattle, renown consumer reporter from KOMO radio and Consumers’ Checkbook, sent us a picture of a package of Impossible Foods’ plant-based burger “meat” which is sold at the fresh meat counter in supermarkets.

He wanted to check the freshness date on the package, but was having a devil of a time doing so. The date shown on that sticker above is not the sell-by date incidentally.

*MOUSE PRINT:

There it was on the edge of the package, and true to their name, it was almost impossible to read. (And we photo-enhanced the above picture to make it barely readable.) Why make it so difficult for shoppers to see this important information? Thanks for nothing, Impossible Foods.

If you find an advertisement or product label suitable for featuring in a future edition of “Thanks for Nothing,” please send a clear photo or screenshot to edgar(at symbol)MousePrint.org . Thanks.